You’d Better not Bring a Man or a White Girl Home

Not a white girl, but definitely not a black girl either.

As a high school graduate fresh off to college, my mom- who’s a woman of African American, Scottish, Chinese and Native American ancestry – stopped me to speak. Thinking it would be a farewell, I stopped to listen. “You’d better not bring a man or a white girl home,” were her words.

Well, men don’t do it for me, but… soon she’d meet in my house…a ‘white’ girl… and a French one at that.

Thankfully, we live in a time where people can love whom they want more openly than in the past… with a few exceptions.
Myself being a goofy geek since childhood, my heart always held a special place for girls who were cool and geeky on their own. This is a big reason I adore Carol Burnett (RIP) Lily Tomlin, Sandra Oh, T’Keyah Crystal, Jane Lynch, Kate McKinnon… Oh dear, I’m going on… this is my preference. Period.

People will look- that’s given- but what a couple feels for each other matters most – whether it’s a white girl, black girl, asian girl, Hispanic girl, whatever.

That said, what still gets me is that awkward look I notice whenever I see interracial couples in passing. Seems to me that, when the person is a ‘black’ woman or man, she/he perceives my quick glance as a judgment by me, a multiethnic brown person. Also, for male persons of color.
In reality, it’s… joy mixed with liberation- not judgment.

And it happens so often that, sometimes, I’d wish I had a prefab sign to hold up that reads

“Who You Love Is a complete Non Issue! I Don’t Care! Enjoy each other!”

When it comes to loving who you want, you need only your own permission and approval! Not friends, not strangers… not even mom. So if someone like me grins at you two in passing – black guy, white girl; white guy, black girl, whatever – you’ll know why, and maybe, you will, too.


IMG_20160912_181813_811J.E. Burton is an African-american and Asian American, Scottish yet not Highlander, Cherokee and not registered, and Chinese yet speaking Japanese. Human yet alien. Living contradiction.

You can find him on IMDB and his website. You can check out J.E.’s music on Bandcamp

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Published on: February 26, 2017

Filed Under: Dating & Marriage

Views: 1133

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2 Responses to You’d Better not Bring a Man or a White Girl Home

  1. A priceless article. I like his quote and will use it if someone ever questions who I date or the choices I make in life, “When it comes to loving who you want, you need only your own permission and approval!”

  2. Avatar Shelia Burton says:

    Not my exact words! But the story is interesting

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